I just couldn't go home after church today. I drove out and spent the afternoon with some friends and I couldn't seem to leave their house. I got so tired I had to head for home but it was hard. I felt the sadness wash over me as soon as I got in the truck and the quiet set in again. It is nice to have so many distractions in my life, so many people who want to help me through this time. The hard part is when all of the distractions are done for the day, when there is no distracting left to do. Then the reality sets in and I'm right back where I started, missing Nathan and wishing for this all to be over with. Each day makes me miss him and long for him ever more than the day before. I feel disconnected and incomplete. I just want him home with me and I want to snuggle up next to him in our bed tonight. I'm sad and I feel very alone. Even the dogs don't seem to be able to calm me tonight. Sleep seems to be the only solution so I'm off to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be full of distraction.
Tonight I thank God for Nathan and I thank Him for the passing of another day. We're one day closer.
