Many people have asked me this week how my time with Nathan was and my response has been that it was just perfect, beyond what I could have imagined. We didn't do anything special, no trips or adventures. It was just us and our dogs (Nathan would also have me mention the presence of our cat) for two solid weeks. We spent much of our time alone together curled up in a chair or on the couch or in the bed. We were quiet much of the time as well. Being together spoke volumes more than any words we could have shared. I don't feel like our time was anything other than ordinary and that made it extraordinary. When you live seperate lives on different continents the ordinary things of life are what you miss most about one another. I commented to a dear friend that the presence of Nathan's whiskers on the sink after he shaves is one of the greatest things I have ever seen. I loved doing our laundry and pulling out socks and underwear that didn't belong to me. I loved being forced into watching Ultimate Fighting on Spike (Television for Men). I loved that I finally had someone to eat my takeout leftovers and share extra large deserts with me. I loved feeling his hand absentmindedly playing with my hair at the movie theater and in line at the grocery store. I loved knowing he was in the room, even if he was looking at the latest trap shotguns online. I loved hearing him make his coffee in the morning and listening to him chat with the dogs while he thought I was still asleep. I loved that he kissed me and wrapped the blankets a little tighter around me when he got out of the bed before me. I loved listening to him recap the walk he took with our dogs and how well they did and how both pups peed and pooped. (We find great success and joy when our dogs release their bladders outdoors and we always share the intimate details with one another.) I truly loved every moment of Nathan's time here. I loved every nuance and every gesture and every tilt of the head. I settled into being his wife over the past couple of weeks. I grew comfortable with the role and with myself, just being around him. He calms me, slows me down, teaches me to be a better version of myself. I am blessed to spend any time with him at all, let alone the rest of my life.
As much as my heart aches for him now and as much as I long to bury my head in his chest once more, I am so very grateful to have had him here for the time that I did. He is my angel, sent by God to lead me through this life. I couldn' t be more grateful for Nathan than I am right now, in the midst of missing him I am overwhelmed with just how incredible a man he truly is. Tonight I thank God for the blessing of my husband and for the blessings found in missing him as much as I do. God is able to make our worst moments into blessings and I'm thankful for that.
