Nate and I have had an interesting history so far. It seems that I've tried to get away from him at every turn. Our first date was special, interesting, and longer than expected. In fact, it was a lot of things I didn't expect. Nate didn't try to kiss me, he didn't even show signs of touching me at all until the small, thanks for the evening hug that he gave me at the end of the night. It was a new thing for me. It was rare to meet a guy who wasn't attempting to move the physical relationship to the next level before the relationship had even really begun. Nate didn't show signs of desiring a physical relationship at all. Spending an evening with a guy who wasn't looking for something I didn't want to give was new to me. It was amazing how special I felt at the end of that first date when Nate gave me a short, gentle hug and said goodnight. I felt like he valued me. Being valued is a scary thing for a girl who hadn't really ever considered her own worth inside of her relationships with others. Nate asked if I would like to see a movie together on Saturday night. Our first date took place on a Wednesday, he was leaving for a week in Washington DC on Sunday. He wanted to spend Saturday with me. I agreed and we decided that we would speak on Saturday and go from there. I thought a great deal about the second date after I left that evening. It seemed pointless to go out with this guy again. I wanted to stay in Vermont and have a family with a man who loved God and wasn't going to go away, ever. I didn't want to face feelings of loneliness and abandonment ever again. I met Nate for the first date assuming that there would never be another date. Why on earth would I agree to go out with him again? What was the point? I called Nate that Saturday and broke our date. There were some old family friends in town and I told him that I wanted to go see them. I did want to see my old friends and they were in town, but I could have had both the date and the friends if I had wanted to arrange things that way. I didn't. I did not want to see Nate again. It wasn't worth the pain and suffering that would ensue. It seemed at the time like Nate would be just another date I went on months ago that never turned into anything.
Despite my desire to avoid another life in the military, Nate's charm and genuine sincerity drew me to agree to that movie afterall. Nate called from DC to tell me that he enjoyed my company and still wanted to take me to a movie when he returned from his commercial shoot. I said yes and I felt okay about seeing him again, excited even. Nate called from the airport in DC before his flight took off to let me know that he was looking forward to seeing me and that he would be back in Vermont in just a few hours. We met for our second date and we went to see a movie that made us both belly laugh for two solid hours. He still did not push physically and I knew there was something special about being with him. It was like he was my oldest friend. That movie date sealed something that I was so afraid of. It convinced me that being with this guy was unlike anything I had ever known and I wanted more. We spent every day together from that point on. We were together every moment that we could spare from that movie until Nate had to leave for Minnesota and his preparation for deployment. In total we had 8 days together after that movie. Nate left just before church on a Sunday morning. Our goodbye was like that of two friends who expect to see one another in a couple of days. No tears, no fear, no trepidation.
Now, almost 3 months later, after a few more attempts to push Nate out of my life out of fear, we have a solid commitment to one another. We've both made the decision to stick to this thing, no matter what the cost. I've committed to this deployment with him and he has committed to patiently dealing with my neuroses and my difficult days as the Lord heals me and teaches me to grow with Him. There is peace from the Lord for both of us and we trust that His hand is on our time together. We believe that God has designed our lives this way. I for one, am quite thankful.
27 Days Until Christmas.
Thanks be to God for this Glorious Journey called Waiting on Nate.
